I would go so far as to make sure you are never alone with this woman again without reliable witnesses. In the first case regarding the bruises it was her word against yours. Do not put yourself in the situation of it being her word against yours again. In my experience police are not immune to seemingly helpless and distraught women having them feel sorry for her.
If what you say is true (and I only have your word here as well) this woman is unstable and needs professional help. YOU are not the person best equipped for that job. Organise to move your things with witnesses and be prepared to not see her again. If you didn't provoke this dangling off the balcony with any verbal or physical threats her behaviour was irrational and histrionic and I very much doubt it will be a one off.
What will she do if you tell her it's over? Has she said to you she does not want to see you again and even if she has, is she expecting you to go beg her not to leave?
MsBrown, the last time I broke up with her, she just "hung out" outside my apartment for days in a row. When I tried to move my things, she just followed me around the city. I believe that if I break up with her again, at the very least she is going to try and stop me from moving my things or she will just go to my relatives' house and cry and ask for my new address. The best thing I would imagine is to try and send her back to USA (that's where she is from originally). Her visa is expiring soon and I am hoping she is smart enough not to overstay. But I think she will overstay and cause me further distress. I do not know what to do.
Toofan, if what you say is true, perhaps you should inform the police of all this if you haven't already.
They may be of some help, perhaps contacting her Relies in the states.
Just seems to me your in for a load of grief if you can't break contact with her. And for her own good, maybe it would be a good idea as well
I will let immigration pick her up instead. Not sure how long it takes immi to notice illegal immigrants. Heard it can be years before they take action. Maybe I will help them.
Just to add something here, a lot of people are making false domestic violence complaints as a way to get a Residency here. Its a sad situation, but many people are manipulating the law to their own advantage. Im not saying thats whats happening here, but just be aware there might be a plot here.
Also being a man puts you in a lose-lose situation here...you need to be very careful.
You may want to get in contact with one of the mens rights groups, they have lawyers that are very experienced in this area and can give very good advice.
I will let immigration pick her up instead. Not sure how long it takes immi to notice illegal immigrants. Heard it can be years before they take action. Maybe I will help them.
Personally, I would let the police contact immigration about her if they see fit.... I would keep arms length as much as possible if I were you
DV claims are very tricky because it all comes down to your word versus hers - as was mentioned in a previous post. She sounds like she is quite unstable, as I'm sure you've worked out for yourself, so you need to tread very carefully. Perhaps don't tell her that you are breaking up with her but need a few weeks or days to think things over. Then go around when she isn't there and collect your things - with another witness in tow so that your covered if she comes home or is waiting for you in the dark! Immigration won't find out about her for ages unless she is reported - so report her. Don't leave it to someone else to do it as it won't get done and she will likely overstay for a long time before someone from Immigration bothers looking into it. Remember, you can remain anonymous if you are afraid of her finding out that it was you who reported her.
If she engages in anymore stalker behaviour, save the text messages and document all her odd behaviour. Also make your friends and relatives aware of the situation so they know better than to fall for her manipulation techniques. But most importantly, report her behaviour to the police if she does stalk you again as its very important to cover yourself.
Toofan21 ..... a lot of people have given you great advice here so please use some common sense, a bit of strategy, but more importantly I think you need to have it on the record what you have told us here by at least making sure either the police or your solicitor have some idea to the background of this person. You need to try and keep your distance from her and make sure you have credible witnesses to back you up if needed. Im taking a guess here but I have a feeling that your dramas with her are going to escalate the closer it comes for her to return to the US ..... she will probably do anything to stay here. You may want to take out an AVO against her for stalking you but check with your solicitor first ....
Thanks for all the advise. Got a call from the Police yesterday - they are unable to reach her on the phone and give her a copy of the AVO to appear in court tomorrow. So they called me and asked where she was. I did not know either. I guess she won't be coming in since she intentionally did not take the phone calls. Will the AVO go ahead even if she does not appear? I am not going to consent to the AVO - but what does that do to the court's decision? Will there be another hearing date?
Depends on what the police prosecutor requests. Usually the magistrate will listen to them.
The magistrate wont dismiss it on first mention. They will give the police another attempt to contact her so no doubt you will need to attend court a second time.
If she fails to attend the next mention then its a high chance the magistrate will throw it out of court .....
So far their failure to locate her is going to go in your favour.
However they will keep looking, and if they don't find her you will come into the spotlight, as there have been cases where such complainants have met with foul play.
I am NOT a lawyer. Anything said is NOT legal advice.
WOW, the plot thickens. I hope you are documenting everything and have alibis. Do not go anywhere near the place she lives without a credible witness. I had a girlfriend once that needed to collect things from a former residence and she was able to take a police officer with her. I'm not sure how it was organised. Maybe a 3rd party with a video camera is sufficient.
The stalking behaviour needs addressing, make sure your relatives know and try to contact her own relatives with your concerns. It sounds like she really needs help.
Had my AVO hearing today and she popped up at the last minute claiming that she does not want to proceed with the AVO and that she will agree to counseling. The prosecutor seemed to agree with that and have adjourned to next month when we have to present a letter from a counselor that we are seeking help.
Get away from her and never have anything to do with her again. You're lucky that it's just your citizenship that she's endangering. Imagine if it where your children.
Make rational choices. A little bit of heart ache now will spare you from something that will destroy you in a decade's time.
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